CHARLOTTE — Workers at the offices of one of the largest professional wrestling promotions in the world got to see more of their World Champion than they were perhaps bargaining for this morning when they were greeted by a larger than life size 24-karat- solid gold bust of Kellen Jeffries bending over to reveal his bare buttocks at the front door of their corporate headquarters. Jeffries is a 15-year-veteran of various wrestling promotions but has never held a World Championship in any of them, won his first Global Championship Wrestling World Championship following Tuesday night’s GCW Shotgun event, after what some are calling questionable tactics against the previous champion Brittany Kayl. Unavailable for comment was GCW General Manager Tabitha Silverstone, though Ms. Silverstone, visibly annoyed, could be seen on her cell phone placing a call to someone after realizing that the bust was causing considerable difficulties for people while they were trying to get in the door this morning to perform their duties.
While no official measurements have been given, the bust is believed to be approximately 15-feet-tall and weighing in the neighborhood of 2 metric tons. Jeffries, who is a self made multimillionaire from the telecom industry, was contacted at his home in New York City and did not know where the bust came from but believes that it could help promote company unity after Kayl’s reign, which he called “divisive” for GCW. “I find this to be a marvelous idea,” stated Jeffries who then went on to add, “Now everyone working at GCW Headquarters will have the opportunity to do the one thing that they ought to want to do when they arrive at work in the morning as well as when they go home from work in the evening...kiss my ass.”
Kayl could not be reached for comment at the time of this posting.
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